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Sitting at the heart of much anxiety and fear is emotional memory — all the associations that you have between various stimuli and experiences and your emotional response to them!
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Holidays Are A Time For Holiday Stress

Holiday-Stress-Christmas-Tree

Holiday-Stress-Christmas-Tree

Holiday stress seems inevitable during the holidays.  The holidays can be a time of great joy and excitement.  They can also be a time of worry and anxiety.  There are so many worries that can cause holiday stress.  Will there be enough money to pay the bills and buy the gifts?  Will they like the gifts I sacrificed for to be able to purchase?  Who will be at the party?  Does my house look pretty enough? Do I look pretty enough?  Will she try to corner me with questions again about my lack of boyfriend/husband/children?  Will they try to treat me like I’m still twelve years old?  What will they think?  What did she mean by that?  The list goes on.
There are so many opportunities to experience holiday stress.  It can get so bad that it can give you a headache and make your tummy hurt.  You can feel so overwhelmed all you want to do is lock your door and stay home in your jammies with your Christmas movies.  It’s enough to leave you speechless wondering what just happened.

It’s natural to have holiday stress…

I was tempted to stress about Christmas shopping this year.  Our grandchildren have several sets of grandparents.  Another grandma let me know a few things she was going to give our granddaughter.  She said this with the sole purpose of letting me know so we wouldn’t give the kids duplicates of things.  I appreciated the fact that she let me know and reached out to me.

I was tempted to be anxious that I/we wouldn’t give our grandchildren the amount and type of items she was giving them this year.  I had chosen practicle items that would benefit their physical and educational needs this year.  After spending time with another set of grandparents who showered them with gifts, would they appreciate what we would give them?  Would it even be worth their time to drive to our house to collect their presents?

Holiday stress is easy…

It seems easy to focus on holiday stress.  These thoughts seem to come naturally.  It’s easier to think negatively at every turn and wonder what her motive for saying that was or what he meant by that.  It seems easier to think that way, but it’s really not.  Negative thoughts drag us down.  They don’t allow us to cultivate positive relationships.  They get in the way of our peace which gets in the way of our creativity.

I could have wondered if the other grandma had some kind of motive for telling me some of the items she bought.  I could have, but I didn’t.  I decided to take her at her word that she told me so our families wouldn’t give the same things.  She was thinking of the grandchildren, and so did I.

Say “No” to holiday stress

Instead of allowing myself to experience this type of holiday stress, I decided to set my thoughts higher.  I decided to appreciate the fact that our grandchildren have so many people who love them.  I decided to be happy that they would get so many awesome gifts.  That they certainly wouldn’t go without.  This decision helped me to enjoy the act of shopping for them.  Knowing that our gifts to them were part of a bigger picture of gifts and warmth and love.  They got to go to at least three homes where they found love and celebration.  They were so blessed, they don’t know where to put it all.  We got to be part of that.

By deciding to take on a higher mindset, I was able to be at peace and enjoy their visit.  I was able to say “No” to holiday stress.  I wasn’t fretting about whether or not they would like our gifts to them.  Instead, we were relaxed and had a fun time.  Value was seen in each gift.  Each gift had a purpose and was appreciated.  Our visit together was sweet.  It was an enjoyable moment of semi quiet relaxation in the midst of a hectic time of parties and people.  It was a time of blessing and security.  Holiday stress was successfully banished!

Trust And Rest Instead of Holiday Stress

When we trust in the Lord we can truly rest.  We can be confident in him.  There are great riches in his presence.  He has made our home a home of peace and healing.  That happens when we trust and rest in him.

We have a choice everyday, every minute to trust in the Lord.  This doesn’t only work to fight off holiday stress.  We trust in the Lord daily to maintain peace in every situation.  When we trust the Lord, we experience gifts that cannot be purchased by money.  We experience gifts that can only be attained in his presence.

Join me on this journey of trusting in the Lord with holiday stress and everything else.  Choose daily to give your worries to him.  Watch God’s beautiful plans for you unfold.

Please let me know how you are doing on your trust journey with the Lord.  Please comment on this blog post.  Also, feel free to ask questions.

 

6 Steps To Trusting In The Lord

waiting on the Lord

I’ve talked a lot about trusting in the Lord. Today, I want to talk about another part of trusting in the Lord-waiting on the Lord. In my experience of trusting in the Lord the process goes something like this:

  1. You have something you need to trust God about. It could be as simple as asking him where you put your sunglasses or as big as buying a house and beyond.
  2. You throw the situation on God’s shoulders (1 Peter 5:7). And leave it there. LeaveIt.
  3. You ask the Lord about the situation. I will often ask him, “Lord, what is your word on this?” And I leave it with him. I then go about my business. Don’t worry, when you ask God something, he will get the answer to you. This is where it is helpful to put God’s word in your heart so he can easily tell you what you need to know. God doesn’t always give me a word directly from the Bible, but the Bible can always back it up. Whether you are a scripture newbie or have memorized the whole thing, God will get your answer to you!
  4. Once you have God’s word on the situation, you’re all set! You know his will, and you can remind yourself and the devil what God said about your situation every time you are tempted to think the opposite.
  5. Praising God before you see your answer is also a must. This helps build your faith. It shows that you are so confident the Lord is working the situation out for you.
  6. When you are doing steps 4 and 5 of the trust walk, congratulations! You have entered the next step, waiting on the Lord.


This period of waiting doesn’t seem that glamorous. However, it is one of the most crucial steps to actually seeing God work the situation out for you.

It’s great to get a word from the Lord about your situation, but if you allow fear and doubt to win the battle, the word goes dormant. Just because someone got a word from the Lord doesn’t necessarily mean it has to happen.

During this waiting period is when you get to exercise your faith. Little by little you are building your spiritual muscles. You are taking control of your thought life. Not allowing any fear or doubt thoughts to take a place in your mind. You are replacing those enemy thoughts with the word you got from the Lord. You are praising him and thanking him for what he is doing for you.

You are remembering how God has come through for you in the past. You are creating a history with him. A history that cannot be shaken. It is best to start this with smaller situations so if a big situation arises you know what to do. You have already proven your spiritual weapons and you know with whom you are going into battle, the One who never loses!

Is Trusting In The Lord Hard To Do?

You might be thinking it’s hard to trust in the Lord. I haven’t successfully trusted in him for something before. Don’t despair, the Holy Spirit is the best teacher and coach and will never let you down. It’s never to late to get started on this journey of trusting in the Lord.

One thing to know about the devil is he works hard at getting us to stop trusting in the Lord. He knows how powerful it is and how unstoppable we are when we do. The devil is good at preying upon our insecurities and throwing up our failures in our faces. Don’t be shocked or alarmed when this happens. It’s the devil trying his old antics because he’s afraid of you. Just know that the opposite of what he says is true.

“You Passed, With Flying Colors!”

When I was in school to become a teacher, the first program I was in didn’t work out for me. As I was going through the second program, it seemed the devil was often right there to try to get me to doubt myself. Think of Peter when he went to Jesus walking on the water (Matthew 14:25-31). He had a choice to focus on Jesus or to focus on the waves around him.   We all have this choice. We will always have this choice when we set out to do awesome things.

The doubt in my mind got so bad that I ended up crying in my professor’s office after a class. I persevered and didn’t let doubt get the better of me. I followed the 6 steps of trusting in the Lord. As it was my turn during the hooding ceremony on graduation day, my professor said, “You passed, with flying colors.”

All this time I have been building a history with him. I can confidently say, the Lord always works everything out for me!” And, I often do and he always does! He will for you, too, just trust him.

So you’ve been trusting in and waiting on the Lord (remember the 6 steps) for a while. Guess what? Your spiritual muscles are huge! You buff thing you! Your faith muscle won’t quit. Bonus: your faith pleases God. He’s impressed! Check you out!

Repeat steps 4-6 as necessary, and you are on your way! Don’t stop! Don’t quit! All of God’s promises are yes and amen (2 Corinthians 1:20)! He’s promised you amazing things!

When you see God work out the situation for you some things will happen. You will have moved to a whole new level of trusting in the lord. Your joy level will be intense. You might even find yourself getting a bit radical and even telling people around you what God did for you.

Since you won’t still trust him about that particular situation, you will want to trust him for something else. It’s like when you finish one project and you enjoy the benefits of it, but you want to move on to another project. I heard a preacher once say to always have a faith project.

Last year, I had the opportunity for my faith and level of trust in the Lord to grow. We were going through a bit of a struggle financially. My husband and I followed the steps of trusting in the Lord. God always worked everything out for us. He never let us down.

This year, I was able to trust in the Lord further as my husband and I were on the roller coaster that was the purchase of our house. I am writing this in our new home.

There have been so many times too numerous to mention where God has worked the situation out for me. This process works in every area of life including relationships, finances, and health.

Did you know trusting in the Lord is actually exercising your faith in him? By doing this you are pleasing him (Hebrews 11:6). Wow! A win-win situation! He loves it when we have the audacity to believe what he told us.

Please note that trusting in the Lord and waiting on him is not using a blind faith. You may not be able to physically see the outcome when you start out, but God does. It’s like the passengers on a bus don’t see their final destination at the beginning, but they trust the bus driver to take them where they need to go.

The Lord has set up this business of waiting on him to empower you. To prepare you. To strengthen you. I’m not talking about waiting for 20 years or something ridiculous like that. I don’t believe God plays around with us to see how long we will wait to give him glory.

Waiting on the Lord is not a passive thing. It is an action. Waiting on the Lord builds up your strength (Isaiah 40:31). In Ephesians 6, the apostle Paul urges believers to stand fully dressed in God’s armor. I believe the standing he is talking about is the waiting period before we see our answer.

Let your inner warrior out and answer the call of God to trust in him!

Feelings After Miscarriage Validated

 

You never know when you will impact someone in a profound, positive way. Two special strangers did that for me during a difficult time.

miscarriage

During Mother’s Day weekend my husband and I were exploring our town that included parking downtown and walking and getting coffee and looking around in little shops. We were having a wonderful time holding hands and enjoying the day. We probably looked like a carefree couple in love, which was mostly true.

What they didn’t know is that I had just had a miscarriage the month before. We were still feeling our loss pretty deeply, especially because the next day would be Mother’s Day.

This was my first pregnancy. This was supposed to be a very special day. I was supposed to be pregnant on this mother’s day. The news of the pregnancy left almost as fast as it came. I had missed a period and taken a pregnancy test. Sure enough, my suspicions were confirmed. I was pregnant. We were going to have a baby. We were so excited. It was news we wanted to hear. We were preparing to move into a bigger house, and later that year we were going welcome our child into our new home.

One day I started spotting. It continued and didn’t stop until the whole pregnancy was expelled. The actual miscarriage itself wasn’t terrible to go through, unlike some stories I’ve heard. The part that hurt the most was the feeling of loss and disappointment. Which is what I carried on that day before mother’s day.

We walked into a cute little Paris-themed boutique shop that a friend from college showed me years ago. This was the kind of shop that would make anyone with the slightest amount of girliness in them smile.

We were starting to look around, and found their display of expensive, special bar soaps. We were smelling the different soap scents and exclaiming over them when one of the ladies came over closely to us. Right away we both felt like she was going to tell us not to touch the soap. As I was preparing to explain myself, she started to cheerfully introduce herself and tell us about their mother’s day sales.

We then made our way around the store looking at the novelties and the pretty, shiny things. I picked out a pair of sunglasses. We went to the counter to make our purchase. As my husband purchased the sunglasses, one of the ladies told me to pick out a pair of earrings from a display, as they were a gift with purchase.

miscarriageThen, something truly wonderful happened. The two ladies running the shop handed me a rose and wished me happy mother’s day. They didn’t even ask if we had children.

We thanked them and exited the shop. I marveled at what had just happened. I thanked God for what had just happened. To me their act of kindness felt as if God himself had wished me a happy mother’s day. As if he was saying he knows my feelings and acknowledged what had happened.

Those two ladies didn’t know how they made me feel. They didn’t know I had miscarried about a month before. They didn’t know how that weekend I was thinking I should be pregnant-a thought which still brings a lump to my throat. Unknowingly, they gave me validation to my feelings.

At times I felt like I was silently screaming inside about what I had lost. It’s like you want people to know what has happened, but how do you just randomly talk to someone about how it feels to lose someone you have never met?

How do you convey the toll it takes on your psyche to quickly go from the joys of finding out you are pregnant and the plans that take place to a couple of weeks later going through something most pregnant women don’t plan for.

I remember reading a post in a pregnancy forum where a woman told the group that she was out because she had miscarried. I thought how sad for her and thank goodness I didn’t have to go through that. Little did I know it would happen to me.

There was even a period of time where I couldn’t even plan for my emotions. Right before the miscarriage, there was still a shred of hope that it wouldn’t happen. I kept thinking how I couldn’t even prepare my emotions. I didn’t know whether to hold out hope or start the grieving process. I wouldn’t have long to wonder, but it felt like forever at the time.

Two months later I still think about the fact that we have a child in heaven. I still feel like something was taken from me. I’ve come through amazingly well. I understand that our bodies are good at taking care of what is not to be. I still give the situation to the Lord and trust him. I trust that he will continue to heal my emotions. I trust that I will give birth to healthy children. I trust that he knows the desires of my heart and will fulfill them.

miscarriageThose two ladies in the boutique had no idea that they became ministers of healing to me that day and as close to angels as humanly possible. They gave cleansing and healing to the past and hope and life to my dreams.

We have no idea most of the time how our simple words and actions touch others so deeply. It’s important that we make it a point to be more in tune with people we come across. An action as simple as a smile can mean so much. It says you are somebody. You are noticed. We are on the same team. You are not alone.

Will you join me this week in reaching out to someone in a special, simple way? Even if we never know how our action impacts someone, we can trust that we left someone feeling better than when they started their day. This, in turn, will impact our day for the better.

Please join this “reach out” challenge. When you do, please tell us about it by commenting below. Also, please comment how your life was touched in a special way. If this post has touched something in your heart at all, please comment below.

Please join this “reach out” challenge. When you do, please tell us about it by commenting below. Also, please comment how your life was touched in a special way. If this post has touched something in your heart at all, please comment below.

 

It’s Time to Silence Our Insecurities Forever

insecurities

insecuritiesHave you ever wondered why it seems you keep coming to the same old insecurities, never seeming to get passed them?  For me, I have struggled with insecurities of not measuring up for as long as I can remember.  In high school, I was the valedictorian with a very high GPA, but I always compared myself to a friend who didn’t share my goal of going to college right after high school.  She was more beautiful, more organized, and thinner, and had better hair, and she had a boyfriend she would marry after graduation.  I went on to college and compared myself with a new friend for at least three years.  She, of course, was better than me in our major at the time.  I went on to change my major, with insecurities of not being good enough to make it in that field.  I got my master’s degree a few years after graduating from college.  While in my master’s program, I was afraid of not passing student teaching.  I ended up crying in front of two of my professors after class one evening because of it.  During our master’s hooding ceremony on graduation day, as my professor put my hood on me, she said, “You passed with flying colors.”  Even recently, I have been tempted to feel like I don’t what I’m doing at my job although I having been doing a great job for a long time!

The Insecurities Were Lies All Along

As I look at myself through the years, I realize those lies I was tempted to believe about myself are totally not true!  It wasn’t as though anyone ever said anything bad about me.  I have had more supporters than not over the years.  It was the silent shouts of inadequacy that I believed about myself.

Why would I see myself as not being good enough?  I did things right.  I have always had a great GPA, a fun loving easy to be around personality, and beautiful fast growing hair!  To the world it has probably looked like I have had everything together, but I haven’t felt like it.

Something has changed!  I am tired of listening to thoughts and feelings that aren’t correct.  I have decided to quit listening to lies about myself!  I have decided to believe the best about me!  I have decided to make it possible for me to really listen to what God says about me and to soak it up and to really believe it this time!  No more mentally berating myself because of supposed wrong doings and inadequacies!  I am a free woman!

I invite you to be free, too!  I invite you to quit thinking the worst about yourself, and start believing the best about you!  We are worthy of the best and believing the best about ourselves.  We can have this kind of confidence because of God’s intense, overflowing love for us!  The only thing that matters is what God says about us anyway.

If you have compared yourself to others and think you don’t measure up, stop!  Realize that you are the wonderful, dynamic, awesome person God says you are! If this has encouraged you, please leave a comment and let me know.

Have a glorious day!

Jessica