Marriage Lesson: Don’t Judge Your Spouse By Your Past

Jon and Jessica McCaw marriageDon’t judge your spouse by the examples from your past has been my first major marriage lesson.  I was kind of reared to think that men were emotionally out of touch and not really “with it.”  For example, my dad was there, but didn’t know how to really communicate and would often come across sounding harsh.  My mom had a destructive male role model for a dad and two husbands that weren’t there emotionally.  So she would make negative comments about men, with good reason in her experiences.

Then I met my husband.  As I got to know him better, I began to realize that he is not out of touch.  I would expect him to react to something in a negative way, but that never happened.  He is truly interested in getting to know who I am.  He knows me so well and notices so much.  There is a great comfort in knowing that he cares about me so much.

A big part of both our personalities is to show we care with our words and actions.  Knowing this, we can both freely lavish our caring natures on each other without fear that we will be taken for granted.  We like to do many things together.  Just the other day we were both sweeping floors at the same time getting the house ready for company.

Marriage Agrees With Me

Because I thought all men flew off the handle when problems arose like my dad did, I thought my husband would do the same.  I felt relief when he stayed level-headed and at peace.  I no longer have that stomach clenching feeling when something goes wrong like I used to.  My husband and I communicate with each other and bring our strengths together to master the situation.  If the issue is too big for us to handle on our own, we give it to the Lord and trust him with it.

I believe that married couples should help each other become better versions of themselves.  They should help each be who they really are.  Marriage should be a help, not a hinderance to a relationship.

My husband is often telling me positive things about myself and encouraging me.  I never have to guess where I stand with him or how he feels about me.  I can be real with him, and he still loves me.  I think he respects me even more when I’m myself the most.  He has created an environment where I can flourish and be who I was created to be.  I used to wonder why people got married.  Now I know that marriage agrees with me!

Let me know your thoughts.  Leave me a comment below.

Have a glorious day!





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